The Very Secret Diaries of Harry James Potter
by Simplicity Is Bliss
Summary: Ever wondered what the journals of a very bored Harry Potter would look like? Crack!fic Slash. AU, OCC. Warnings for things both "pink" and "disturbing."
1. July

Harry lolled around in his room at Privet Drive, bored out of his skull. Ceilings, he decided, weren't all that interesting. In fact, they were boring—more boring than just laying there. And of course, there were no letters from his friends or a way to see them to alleviate his ennui. But he'd be damned if he'd spend his summer staring at walls. A wicked grin spread across his face as an idea took root and blossomed in his head.

_July 6_

_Made Petunia v v mad when painted walls of bedroom chartreuse. Vernon nearly had an apoplexy. Dudley had small seizure when came home. Think he may have been tripping out when he came home anyway by size of pupils, but could be wrong. His face was v amusing anyway. Told Petunia and Vernon to send bill for repainting to Dumbledore. Gave owl address and told them Dumbles is magical guardian or something. _

_July 8_

_Vernon demanded Dumbles send 'real' money. Reminded him galleons are solid gold and size of lorry hubcaps and he stopped demanding. Scurried off, I think to the bank. Came back wearing funny grin._

_July 9_

_Petunia asked Vernon where the money from gold hubcaps went. Vernon refused to answer. Still has funny grin._

_July 11_

_Wrote Dumbledore. Asked about pointy hat tricks. _

_July 12_

_No answer from Dumbles. _

_July 13_

_Answer from Dumbles. He said he won't explain them.  
Am sulking_

_July 15_

_Got letter from Ron—thought he wasn't supposed to be writing me. Said he'd be happy to _show_ me pointy hat tricks when we got back to school.  
Thought he was shagging Hermione._

_Ick._

_July 21_

_Sicked Mrs. Figg's cat on Dudley. Screamed like little girl when he chased him up a tree. Did not know Dudley knew how to climb trees. Also never seen fat jounce that much. Not pretty._

_July 20_

_Letter from Dumbles. Says sorry that Ron wrote me and he has been punished. Dumbledore also said someone with experience should show me pointy hat tricks.  
Am finding the idea distressing. Regretting writing Dumbledore with that question._

_July 21_

_Not sure why Dudley smells like strawberries. Can smell him from across the kitchen, over the bacon, and Petunia keeps giving him funny looks.  
Wrote Sirius. Asked if he could rescue me. I know Sirius likes to play the part of the knight, since last visit to his cave was v educational. _

_July 25_

_Think Dudley is shagging Pieres. Walked in on them when Petunia and Vernon were out. Snogging on couch.  
May have nightmares for weeks._

_July 31_

_Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me!_

* * *

A/N: There will be more! Sporatically! Inspired by and modled after The Very Secret Diaries (a LOTR parody thingy that I lol at every time). Needed to write something that wasn't Blood Mage-related and here we are!


	2. August

_August 1  
Still at Privet Drive. Am not happy. Petunia starting to get annoyed as she keeps running out of her favorite shampoo. Dudley still smells suspiciously fruity. Pieres at the house more and there's an epidemic of broken furniture. Vernon keeps billing Dumbledore for it._

_August 5  
Vernon wearing that creepy grin more and more. _

_Still at Privet Drive._

_August 7  
Got my Hogwarts letter this afternoon. Must pester Dumbles to get me out of here because, big surprise,_

_Still at Privet Drive._

_Am v v unhappy about that._

_August 10  
Mrs. Figg has taken to leering at me when I walk past. V unsettling._

_Still at Privet Drive._

_August 16  
Still at Privet Drive. Have taken to painting the walls again. Lime and flamingo pink. Considering painting the hall mauve with a high gloss._

_August 19  
Petunia v angry, accused me of stealing her lip gloss. Told her am gay, but not THAT gay. Dudley has suspiciously pink lips today._

_Still at Privet Drive._

_August 23  
Sirius showed up to collect me unexpectedly. Yay! Went to Diagon Alley. Spent night there. Sirius played the part of a knight again and made me wear a pink frilly dress. Wonder if he makes Remus wear it too?_

_August 24  
Molly and Dumbledore showed up at our door this morning. Molly was livid and Dumbledore not v happy either. Was supposed to be picked up today by Moody.  
Asked Moody if he was 'the real Mad-eye Moody, the real Mad-eye Moody," and if he was, would he please stand up? Moody glared and said I was not vigilant enough if I had to ask that. _

_August 31  
Going back to 'Ogwarts tomorrow! Yay!_


	3. September

_September 1  
Train ride was nerve-wracking. Ron asked me where my hat was and Neville stared at me the whole ride. Ron will kill him if he tries anything._

_September 3  
Snape hitting on me. V v distressing. Greasy old bat. Ron will kill him if he tries anything._

_September 6  
__McGonagall informed me I am to have super-secret How-to-kill-a-Dark-Lord sessions with Dumbles every Saturday night. Tonight being the first one.  
Hope he doesn't ask me if I want to see the Elder Wand or Point Hat tricks._

_Ick._

_September 9  
Ron asked about my hat again. Hermione keeps glaring at me and Dean was acting funny in the shower this morning. Asked me if I wanted help washing my back and proffered a bottle of strawberry soapy-stuff. Ron glared and I declined. After I left, I think I heard Dean yelping from the Common Room._

_September 11  
Got a letter from Sirius. He asked if I wanted to 'see the knight again' over Christmas. Told him yes, as long as Remus wears the dress._

_Snape still hitting on me._

_September 12  
Remus wrote me, said I have to wear the dress if I want to see the knight. Also said that there were other colored dresses, since pink was not my color (Duh, that's why I didn't steal Petunia's lip gloss). He said he would be Sirius' page boy instead and that I was lucky, since I got to wear the dress._

_So he HAS made Remus wear the dress before! Ha! I knew it!_

_September 13  
Can't get picture of Remus in a dress out of my head! Ick ick ick!  
Well, maybe not ick._

_Hm._

_September 14  
I do not like these super-duper top-secret HTKaDL (How To Kill a Dark Lord) meetings. Dumbles keeps offering me lemon drops. Am v v suspicious of lemon drops as these ones smoke a little. Lemon drops should not smoke.  
Do not seem to get much HTKaDL-ing done. Mostly offering tea and those lemon drops (ick). _

_September 17  
Am not excited about Defense. This Umbridge woman is most annoying. Constantly hitting on Draco Malfoy. Draco oblivious to the Toad. Poor poor Draco._

_Snape still hitting on me._

_September 19  
Apparently, Umbridge is kinky. Found Draco crying in a girl's loo wearing high heels and a leather corset._

_September 20  
The Toad woman has set her sights on Hermione. Warned her about the Umbridge's kinks. Told her to ask Draco about them, though, in case she might like them._

_Later:  
Hermione is looking suspiciously pleased. Am v worried about this, but at least she's not glaring at me anymore.  
Now, how to get rid of Ron?_

_September 21  
Dumbledore asked me if I would like him to show me the pointy hat trick. Declined, as would like to keep my mind as un-scared as possible. Suggested he show McGonagall the pointy hat trick and he turned me out of his office. _

_Will keep suggesting that._

_September 23  
Got a letter from Lucius. Asked me if I would be so kind as to turn myself over to the Dark Lord. Also asked me for tea.  
Am suspicious, but sent him box of tea anyway._

_September 24_

_Wrote Morty. Asked him to talk to his minions about being overly familiar with the enemy. _

_Later:  
Got a letter back from Morty. Apologized for his minion. Wrote him back, saying I didn't mind Lucius, but the letters I was getting from Bellatrix were out of line.  
Really now, am innocent Boy-Who-Lived and do not know what she means by 'wanting to polish my wand.'_

_September 30  
Snape still hitting on me. Ron will kill him if he tries anything._

* * *

A/N: I bow to the superiority of the original VSD, and apologize profusely for lifting certain ideas wholesale from them.


	4. October

_October 1  
Hermione seems mellow. The Umbi-toad seems less prim. Little mussed, actually. Hermione disappeared before class and was in the classroom when we got here.  
V. suspicious._

_October 3  
Umbi-toad still relaxed and H. disappeared last night for an undetermined length of time. Lavender swears she saw a shiny stiletto under Hermione's bed—why Lavender would be under Hermione's bed I don't know.  
Snape still hitting on me._

_October 7  
No more letters from any minions! Feel so unloved! Lucius still hasn't thanked me for the tea!_

_October 9  
Letter from Sirius. Asking what color dress I want. Asked for a purple frock—lilac or heather, since violet's too dark for me! Makes me look all pale and wraithy. Like a dementor. Am not a dementor! I MAKE happy memories for Sirius, not take them away!  
Wonder if Remus will carry Sirius' equipment though, like a real page-boy?_

_October 17  
Loathe the Umbi-Toad. She and Hermione have broken up, as she is right pain in the arse—and I didn't even DO anything to warrant one! Seriously._

_October 18  
Think I'll take the Umbi-Toad over Hermione in a dry spell. Right bitch, Hermione is. Snapping at everyone in the common room and taking points from our own house! Must ask her what happened, see if I can get them back together._

_Later  
Note to self: Do not ask Hermione about sex life. She will hex your bits off. Also note to self: find bits. Liked them where they were._

_October 24  
Is getting closer to Halloween. Malfoy seems to have gotten over the corset incident and has been looking speculative at Gryfindor. Must foil his plot preemptively.  
__Snape still hitting on me._

_October 25  
Must try not to look too smug when Malfoy walks into the Great Hall in the morning. Must not! Must not!_

_October 26  
Failed. Can't prove anything, though._

_October 29  
Malfoy still stinks. Must research victim's haircare preferences before pranking next time. Would honestly prefer Dudley's strawberry scent over the bad egg smell.  
Heh._

_October 31  
Oh woe! Woe! Woe is me! Hermione insisted (after taking 35 points from me) that I cut the dramatics and that nothing was going to happen today. So I must pour out my angst and excessive emotional tendencies here instead! Woe! Woe!_


	5. November

_November 1_

_Angst is not as much fun as I imagines. Am v bored with it. Have decided am prettier than Draco. Ron still eying me, but no longer offering to show me pointy hat tricks. Hermione has moved on, it seems. Is shagging Lavender Brown. Explains why Lavender was under her bed.  
The Umbi-Toad sulking._

_November 8: _

_Sirius owled. Says found a lovely lilac dress for me. Am so happy! _

_November 12 _

_Have not had anymore HtKaDL sessions with Dumbledore. McGonagall seems strangely cheerful and walks funny. Hooch glares at both Dumbles and McGonagall, while Pompfrey looks mournful. Am still prettier than Draco._

_November 15_

_Letter from Voldemort. Asks if can have tea with me over holidays. Told him I have plans until Boxing Day, but after that, can come over for tea if Sirius agrees. Told him to avoid Remus at all costs. Has forgiven Voldie for the bad date in '79 yet.  
Am still prettier than Draco._

_November 16_

_Voldie has agreed. Says is sad Remus has hard feelings about the date. Thought Remus was paying and didn't mean to stick him with the bill. _

_November 17_

_Draco still smells, though faint now. Asked him if he's seen his mum recently. Received glare. _

_November 19_

_Still prettier than Draco._

_November 23_

_Lucius sent back box of tea. Awfully late to tell me he doesn't like oolong. Asked me if I wanted candy. Told him was warned away from strangers that offer me sweets. Also said I like spice drops. _

_November 25_

_Received spice drops. Not poisoned or hexed. Got terrible glare from Draco. Said wasn't interested in Lucius. Also that it's not my fault am prettier than he is. Reminded him about corset incident._

_November 26_

_Hermione scolded me for being far too mean to Draco. She found him huddled in girl's loo on fifth floor. Says I should give him a chance. Reminded her I have agreements with Sirius and Remus. She said that wasn't healthy and "I should date someone my own age." Told her I was too pretty for Draco. Agreed, but said I still should avoid wearing dresses for Sirius. Asked if being his page boy was ok. She asked me if found my bits yet.  
Evil woman._

_November 30_

_Draco staying for holidays, apparently. Dammit. _


	6. December

December 1

_Count down until hols begins! Two weeks! Wonder if I'll get my new dress before Christmas or after. Either way has interesting possibilities._

December 3

_Can't hols come already? Cannot wait to escape Hermione's insistence that I give Draco a chance. Am much too pretty for him._

December 7

_One week left!_

December 8

_When will Snape leave off? Good Merlin, he does not know when to take a hint? Also, McGonagall and Dumbles seem to have ended. Pomfrey looking v v happy and Hooch smirks at Dumbles as every time looks at him. McGonagall seems to be only one sad about it, but Hooch's hat is looking worse for wear._

December 9

_Found bits! Were stuffed in suit of armor on third floor, which had been spelled to stick its 'tongue' out at passersby. Hermione is great big perv! _

December 14

_Off to Grimmauld today! Shall play knight with Sirius and Remus this evening. New dress or no new dress?_

_Later:_

_Hermione made off with Lavender twenty minutes into the train ride back to London and didn't come back. Loo on car five was occupied entire time, or so many angry people said. Passed by it and heard distressing noises. Bumps and Lavender-sounding moans._

_May be scared for life._

December 15

_No new dress. Am very sad but Remus promised it is a very nice dress. He was indeed Sirius's pageboy. Mrs. Weasley v displeased when came down for breakfast. Everyone who was at breakfast stared at me. Cannot figure out why. My dress, though old, is v nice. It is red and Sirius says it brings out my eyes._

December 20

_Have taken to wearing my dresses as often as possible. Distresses everyone but Sirius and Remus, who occasionally pull me into dark, unoccupied rooms for impromptu games. _

December 22

_Sirius and Remus have decided will give me new dress early. I shall wear it to breakfast. And sit next to the action-less Hermione. Ask her about Lavender._

December 23

_Where is my new dress? Cannot mock Hermione properly without new dress._

December 24

_Day before Christmas, apparently, is 'early.' Oh well. Christmas morning is still a good day to mock __Hermione._

December 25

_Oh how I enjoyed breakfast today. Also, good haul, even if half of it consisted of new trousers. Suspect they may be trying to send a message. Ha. Noted and ignored._

December 26

_Continued dress-wearage distressing everyone but Sirius and Remus of course. They have apparently been getting worried questions from everyone asking why have taken to wearing dresses. Apparently, wearing dress = girl. Am not a girl!_

_Voldie came by for tea. Still ugly, scaly snake thing. Has pronounced lisp and forked tongue. Found self wondering if is why Bella shags him. Remus avoided us and everyone else freaked out. Ignored it and had nice tea with Voldie. Said he liked my dress, too!_

December 28

_New Year is almost here! Sirius has promised Remus and I firewhiskey a-plenty for New Years' eve. Am looking forward!_

December 30

_Sirius says could only get a hold of tequila. Remus backed out like manticore was on his tail so Sirius and I shall enjoy tequila by selves. Will be lovely._


	7. January

January 1  
_sound of quill on paper hurts oh god my head is almost tea time and head ache still here note to self if sirius ever ever offers tequila run like hell will never forgive him for this _

January 2  
_Have still not forgiven Sirius for the Tequila. Suspect I saw last month's ham sandwich surprise in loo yesterday morning after all that vomiting. It waved at me._

January 5  
_Jokes about trouser snakes getting old, so must find way to dispose of Christmas trousers. Wonder if Tonks could be convinced to help me come up with something...hmm. Must ask her. Perhaps can lure her off to talk with promise of pictures of naked Remus. (Oh, the things I can do to that man, now that I have pictures of him in stockings and a thong)_

January 8  
_Success! Tonks, in exchange for a (very mild) picture of Remus and Sirius kissing, will take all my trousers and have them tailored into nice skirts out of her own pocket. Asked her if she'd prefer one of Remus and me instead, but wanted Sirius and Remus. Must be a kissing-cousins Black thing. Ick._

_Am kind of related to Sirius, too, and am very, very happy to be in his pants. What does that make me? Will not follow that further, will not, will NOT._

January 11  
_Tonks brought two of the first five of my skirts. A nice red one and a lovely wool skirt and she, the minx, had it tailored rather short. Muahaha, Sirius Black, eat your sexless heart out! Am still denying Sirius sex and taunting him with Remus. Remus doesn't mind, really._

January 12  
_Oooh, this will be fun. Am holding the wool skirt in reserve, but will do battle in the red one today. Had a very loud conversation with Ron last night about the merits of Lavender Brown's arse (it is a nice arse, despite being attached to a nosy cow), which made Sirius jealous (a plus, because am still denying him sex!), made Hermione desperate enough to make passes at both Ron and Tonks, and may, unfortunately, have made everyone else think am 'getting over' this.  
Must wear frilliest, girliest skirt I own tomorrow. Mauve one, I think._

January 18  
_Am leaving tomorrow morning, and am trying to decide whether to make Sirius wait until Easter hols and be nice and not wear my little wool skirt, or be vicious and wear it and then make him think he isn't going to get any before I leave.  
Will fake him out. Want to see his and Mrs. Weasley's reaction to my skirt._

January 19  
_Faking Sirius out best possible course of action. Oh my god. And _this _is ignoring Mrs. Weasley's spectacular reaction to my "butt skirt" as Ginny calls it. I like that term, and Mrs. Weasley's shrieking about the loss of supposed virtue made it even better. Will need little wool skirt mended though._

Train ride was ok. Hermione and Lavender disappeared within moments, and Cho Chang lurked in front of the noisy girl's loo on car three the entire way here, according to rumor. Dean and Seamus sat together and there was a suspiciously strong scent of strawberry in their corner, and Neville seems to have taken up with Luna. The Twins spent the entire trip plotting, and they refused to share what, even with me, the fairest investor of them all!

January 23  
_Oh hallowed halls of hoggy hoggy Hogwarts how did I not miss thee. Well, ok, did, but did not miss most of the population. Dracikins looks like he could use a pick me up, though._

January 24  
_What the hell! Getting that potion into Slytherin's dorms last fall was easy as pie, but can't get a sylph between the stones now! Of course Hogwarts would fail to increase security to any appreciable when there are murders on the loose, but when someone interrupts Prince Draco's morning primping? It becomes air tight. Ugh. _

January 29  
_Dobby is an amazing creature. He really is. Spitefully freeing him from Lucius's clutches was best thing I ever did. _

January 31  
_Draco looks good fully tricked out in leather and heels. All Lucius needs to make the family fortune again is a better pimp cane. _


	8. Feburary

_Feb 1_

Should write Lucius with that suggestion. "Dear Lucius - your son looks oddly good in heels and a leather corset. I highly suggest buying a better pimp cane with which to rebuild your fortune. Love, Harry"

_later:_ did! Look forward to response.

_Feb 2_

Still waiting on response from Lucius. Always returned letters promptly before - except for tea, I suppose.  
Wonder if can get away with wearing skirts to class. Except maybe to potions. Snape finally left off and do not want to fight that battle again. Might have to ask Sir Sirius to stab the Snapey dragon at next meeting, if necessary.  
Do have the perfect skirts for it, though.

_Feb 4_

Lucius's response came. Asked if knew where to buy a good pimp cane.

_Feb 5_

Wore skirt for first time to class. Lavender asked where I got it. Told her at Tiger Lily's, and she ran off to owl them for a skirt. Did not actually buy it there (its previous incarnation was the trousers from Shacklebolt). Tiger Lily's, is, in fact, the bondage shop Draco's gear and heels were purchased from. Does have skirts, but are mostly dragon leather with studs and spikes on inside. Also only come in tackiest of colors. Would not be caught dead in any of them.

_Feb 7_

Oooh yes. Think may have won the universe - large delivery of Tiger Lily goods came for Draco this morning, when did not buy any for him. Also possibly won some brownie points with Hermione. Lavender showed up at breakfast in one of Tiger Lily's subtler skirts, which, given the amount of time Hermione spent feeling her up under the table, is appreciated. Hermione denied it, but am familiar enough with feeling up to know the effects when see them.  
Caught Snape staring at arse yesterday. Cannot blame him, as it is a fine arse, but will watch him. Sirius would enjoy a reason to go after him.

_Feb 10_

Must decide what to do for Remus and Sirius for Valentines. Horrible singing dwarf gram, though desirable, not possible, as Sirius is still wanted criminal and dwarfs are talkative little bastards.

_Feb 14_

Best Valentine ever. Dobby, in a school girl skirt and knee high socks, singing worst quasi-love poem was possible to find. Wrote it down for the horror of future generations.

_Before I met you, the sun looked like a grape._  
_ Now the sun looks like a mass of flames._  
_ Speaking of flames,_  
_ Have you felt the heat of the flames_  
_ Of my love for you?_  
_ Assuming you have, did it make you uncomfortable?_  
_ If not, would you please fan those flames_  
_ With the constant reasurrance that you also love me?_  
_ Although you probably don't love me, _  
_ Because nobody ever has, _  
_ I have this irrational hope that perhaps you could be the one,_  
_ To finally bring a little light to my pathetic life,_  
_ To love me for who I am,_  
_ And believe in me, _  
_ Even though I don't believe in myself,_  
_ Because I'm not actually sure if I exist _  
_ Or if I'm the figment of someone else's imagination._

Look forward to mortified letters, as asked Dobby to sing it in front of other Order members.

_Feb 15_

Am being threatened with no sex for Dobby's song. Doubt threats will be carried through. Have little wool skirt, after all.

_Feb 19_

Letter from Molly. Expressed concern about my mental health and health of relationship with Remus and Sirius. Will not respond because she has already made up her mind. While Molly v Sirius show downs are often things of awe, should probably avoid causing them. Last one, over little wool skirt, resulted in blue hair and Sirius belching soap bubbles for a week. Made blow jobs interesting, apparently.

_Feb 20_

Will avoid answering owl. Answer will not change anything.

_Feb 24_

Snape broke down and made a pass at me. Oh, must remember to ask Remus for a play-by-play after I tell Sirius.

* * *

A/n: I genuinely didn't write that poem. I'm not sure who did, since the source (nathoniDOTus) didn't say.


	9. Announcement v2

Still being eaten by _The Avengers,_ so I'm afraid that this is, sadly, not an update for actual ficcage.

However I have another announcement to make.

Teal deer: leaving FFN because it appears that FFN is run by bigoted heterosexist assholes. I'm a queer and I'll be damned if I participate in my own oppression.

Longer story:

I have been hearing that FFN requires that all slash fic (even if it's, like, innocent hand holding rather than graphic lemon fic) be rated M, and that they will delete non-M rated slash stories. I have tried to find out officially from FFN but have been unable to reach them (they have no forum to contact them through, no response to my attempts to contact their twitter or my emails, etc.), so I'm going with what I've been hearing for several months and assuming they have this policy. There comes a point where I cut my losses, so to speak, and this is it.

A) I write _a lot_ of slash, so I'm pretty sure a huge number of my fics are in danger of deletion.

B) Far more importantly, this is heterosexism (the idea that the only "natural" relationships are heterosexual relationships and that all others are unnatural (if you agree with that, go fuck yourself to death with the nearest sharp object)) and as someone who is queerer than a two dollar bill, I will not participate in my own oppression. I encourage you not to, either, since it's homophobic on their part and fuck that noise.

Therefore, I am 100% leaving FFN for Ao3, DW, and LJ (links to which can be found on my profile page, along with ones to my Tumblr, Twitter, and dA). In three weeks, all my shit is coming off this site, whether it's gen, het, or slash.

Also, Ao3 isn't giving out invites to current users at the moment, since they got a good 17,000 requests around the time I initially posted my announcement-y thing. If I haven't given you an invite by this point, it's because I'm out and they aren't giving them out anymore.

- I've been accused of "rashly ragequitting". I've been sitting on this decision for a couple months because I would in fact prefer not to because a) this is the largest fanfic site on the interbutts and b) deleting my shit is more work than I actually want to do.

- Let me repeat: I've attempted to contact the FFN people via email, tweet, and every other way I can think of in order to clear up this rule, to no avail, for months.

- I have combed over the rules and not been able to find anything to explain what I've been seeing and hearing.  
To quote the friend I first heard about it from:  
_All of my stories on are listed as M even though they are PG and PG-13... reason: I have had a friend banned on for posting an innocent slash story (the characters were only holding hands and talking about their kids!) However a righteous mother had the author removed due to her not properly rating offensive content (homosexuality) as mature where her sweet innocent child could find it._  
(yes, I know, hearsay, but see below)

- I've been accused of rumor mongering. Yes, I initially heard about it through rumor in the slash community and I was disinclined to believe it at first because it sounds very unreasonable. But I've had far too many fluffy, non-porny, non-violent slash fic go AWOL from my favorites here and other authors I know have had their shit removed (slash stories which I have read and can attest to being 100% G rated) with this as an explanation (on top of hearing the same thing about authors I didn't). So no, I'm not.

- A couple of people have assumed I'm bailing because of what some homophobe said about my work. No, because that would be letting them win and fuck that noise. If I had had some asshole shitting on my stuff because of teh ghey, I'd egg them on until they exploded (I tend to treat bigots like pinatas because they are full of delicious rage and lulz).


End file.
